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Can You Buy a Bride?

Foreign ladies looking for Western husbands are often referred to as mail order brides. This largely harks back to the 1970's, when Western gentlemen would order catalogs from mail order bride companies then select the ladies they were most interested in. Thanks to relaxed rules on immigration a man could choose a bride from a Thai brides catalog, then wait at the airport for her to arrive on the flight from Bangkok.

Is Finding a Mail Order Bride the Same as Buying a Bride?

These days most countries have tightened their immigration rules, so it's not generally possible to order a mail order bride like this anymore. Most countries won't give a your new fiancé a visa unless you can prove you have both met each other. The internet has of course changed international relationships forever. You can't simply buy a Russian bride. Now most guys chat to their prospective fiancé online before making that long journey to meet her.

Of course people trafficking is big business. There are plenty of men in China who buy wives from Cambodia and the less wealthy parts of China. In Eastern Europe many Moldavian ladies are trafficked to other countries, especially to Western Europe. How many end up as wives is anyone's guess.

Thankfully the mail order brides Western men choose to marry are increasingly from the middle classes of society. Go on any Russian or Asian dating site and you'll find plenty of professional single ladies looking for marriage partners. These ladies have good jobs, often speak good English and don't need to marry a man for economic reasons.

Immigration rules are also being tightened in American and Western Europe. In the UK most fiancés will have to undertake an English language test before being allowed to settle in the UK. This rule was aimed more at Indian and other South Asian immigrants joining their existing families in the UK. But a side consequence is that it makes it much more difficult for the majority of Asian and Russian ladies on dating sites to be allowed into the UK as the fiancé of a British man.

Some ladies do think it's odd that a lady will move to a country without knowing a word of English or the other language spoken in that country. She even considers these wives to be bought by their husbands. She doesn't really understand how you can have a romantic relationship when you can't talk about your problems or issues that arise. This is a fair point, although I think she struggles to understand that when love is concerned, words don't matter.

Filipinos for Sale!

I was chatting to a guy about a well known Filipino dating site. The guy has a friend with a beautiful much younger Filipino wife, so naturally the other guy wanted to see if he could find his own young bride from the Philippines.

The guy was in his mid 50's, so I guess he fits the profile of the majority of men seeking Filipino brides. This is understandable really. Asian dating is an expensive business, and few younger guys can afford to find a girl in Asia and bring her back to his own country. While plenty of younger men do find Asian girlfriends, they either tend to find them in their own country, or they find them while they're teaching English in China or Japan.

Anyway, getting back to the story, I was somewhat glad to hear that the guy looking for a younger Filipina wife was inundated with interest on the Filipino dating site. Most guys are when they sign up to one of these sites. But the guy had obviously done a lot of chatting to the girls who had contacted him. In the majority of cases the girls were offering to marry him if he sent them money. Does this indicate that Filipino brides are for sale? Were they just scammers, or were the promises of marriage for real? It sure sounds bad.

Needless to say, if you're looking for a mail order bride then it's better to find a woman who is closer to your own age. For Russian and Chinese brides it's usual to find somebody who is less than 10 years older than yourself. Maybe if the woman is over the age of 35 then you can stretch this a little. Thai and Filipina girls will often say they're happier with a much older man. In truth the reality is that women outnumber men on most Asian dating sites by a considerable margin, and accepting a big age difference is simply down to the laws of supply and demand.


Danmark on 28 April 2012
They haven't read THE OTHER GUY'S BRIDE by Connie Brockway. So they're feeling unlucky and a bit left out.

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